Oh, For Crying Out Loud!

It’s funny how God uses everyday things to remind us of His faithfulness.  My mom and I were talking, recently, and she was telling me about an area of life she’s been praying about; one in which she really hasn’t heard or seen God move.  She knows God is there… but just feels like He’s been so silent in this area.  I have been through so many situations like this, as well... they're frustrating.  As we were talking, God brought to mind my sweet son.  When Silas is hungry, he is hungry.  It starts with some cute little tongue movements, then he starts sucking on his hand… and if I don’t get to feeding him right then, we’re likely to get a scream.  But even as I’m getting ready to nurse him… getting him situated on my lap, getting his meal (okay…me) “ready”, if you will, he starts to scream and fuss.  He’s right there, his meal is less than 1 minute away… but he doesn’t know that.  I know.  So I am calm as I get ready to feed him and get him situated – while he goes nuts for a little bit, thinking food is no where in his near future.  Then, in the middle of his anxious fussing, there it is - he latches on and begins eating.  And all is well.

This is, often, how we are when we cry out to God.  We freak out, get nervous, feel anxious, feel alone… we start to feel like an answer is nowhere in sight.  But God knows.  He’s right there, preparing our provision, preparing both the answer and us while we wait.  But we waste our energy on worry, on anxiety, on anger – when we could just be waiting expectantly… knowing that He will come through.  Knowing He was listening all along and is working things out for our good.  Rest in Him.

Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.  Psalm 27:14            

Nice gift... where'd you get it?

I've been noticing a disgusting tendency , lately: The dreaded desire to...dun dun dun... COMPARE. Gosh, I hate when I do this. Why can't I just be in awe of someone's creativity without shining a spotlight on the fact that I lack their ability. It seems I've taken the simple act of observation and turned it into agame of one-upping. It might be a different story if this game motivated me to get in gear, go for it, do more, be all the things I want to be... but it doesn't. Really, it just serves up discouragement with a side of self-pity. This tendency has been growing over the last few months as I've taken a greater interest in creativity and innovation. With a realization that I need a creative outlet of some sort, I have had this burning desire to create, to make beautiful things, to use up (and stir up) some creative juices. These needs are real and even healthy. That is, they would be if they didn't lead me to compare myself to others. I don't even start the process of making or doing something new because the dreaded thought stunts my productivity: "It won't really be that great". Oh what a silly, terrible thought.

This tendency has been getting worse and worse, until recently, when I read something. It's from the book of Benedictine Prayer, "Work of God". This book was a gift from my brother and has been such a blessing. What I read was a necessary reminder:

"Our Father...

Giver of every good gift, your greatness is glimpsed in the wonder and variety of humanity. Enable us to share our talents freely, humbly and generously, and help us to welcome the gifts of others graciously and gratefully. Triune God, receive our prayer. Amen"

We can see God's greatness as we see the wonder and variety of humanity. The things I've been comparing are not meant to be compared; it doesn't make any sense to compare

them. Instead, they are to be recognized as yet another way to glimpse God's greatness, power, beauty and creativity displayed among his creation. Through God's eyes and a fresh vision, I can see the beauty of others' creativity and be inspired by it while recognizing that, though I may not possess that same gift of creativity, God has given me my own gifts. I can be creative in my own ways, I can even learn to do what others do in different ways. The best way to learn is to learn from the people who do it well. After reading this beautiful prayer, there has been a bit of a shift in the way I think. God is working in my mind and heart to see others through his eyes... and to see myself the way He sees me.

God, help me to be inspired and get excited when I see examples of your creativity in the variety of your people and the gifts you have given them. Help me to remember that the gifts that others possess, as well as the gifts I possess, are from you; they are examples of your love and your creativity. Guard my heart and my mind from the tendency to compare and be discouraged. Help me to have a heart of encouragement and a spirit of awe as I see the beauty that others create. Thank you, Father!

Romans 9:20: But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?'"

I Cor. 12:4-6: There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.

Deep Breath.

This makes me want to hike in Montana. Plant an enormous garden. Laugh in the sun. Take a walk for days. Breath deeply. Be happy. It inspires me. It makes my heart pound. I love this.

I saw this video here, today.

Busy.

You know her: she commits to everything, she is always going, she has 852,000 things on her plate, and still manages to send you a Birthday post on Facebook. The busy woman. We commend her, we aspire to be her, we're secretly jealous of her awesomeness.

Lately, however, I've been pondering the importance of being so busy. Why is it that we value being busy? I think we all envy the person who can seemingly "do it all"... but none of us really can. I am realizing, though, there is something lost in the busy lifestyle... I remember reading a book1 in which the author spoke about a woman who was best described as being "present". I read this book years ago and this one description still sticks in my head. I think it is impossible, however, to be both the busy woman and the present woman.

I want to be able to do it all, I want to be involved, to say "yes" to any and everything asked of me. But, I am realizing now that the energy and ability to do that pours out of a woman who has taken time to sit back and just be. I've found my desire to do it all and to be involved is not prompted by a desire to contribute, but rather a desire to be that woman; it pours out of my desire to be important and recognized.

The truly present woman, however, is able to be because she has taken time to sit in the presence of God, to be, to enjoy, to soak up all the joys and the life around her. There is such an important balance: I don't ever want to be lazy or selfish... but I don't want to be so busy with the "stuff" of life that I don't have time to sit with friends, to listen,

to enjoy good food, to laugh, to watch life happen and experience every moment of it - breath it in.

I am amazed at how quickly time goes by. I don't want to miss the important conversations with friends, the anecdotes and inside jokes, the laughter, the tears... I want to be there for the joys of life not catch up on the joys of life over a quick phone call from one "important" meeting/commitment/appointment to another.

God, help me to live out the importance of being, of enjoying, and taking time out to be with you and to be refreshed.

Proverbs 11:25b: He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

Luke 10:38-42: Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her"

Caribou wisdom.

The whole world seems off kilter when I'm arguing with my husband. And here I sit at Caribou Coffee, blowing off some steam by typing so hard that the girl at the table next to me is convinced there are fire ants on my keys. As I glance to my left, I am impressed by Caribou's promotional coffee cups and how apt their inspirational jottings are for my day today. Scribbled across the bottom of my cup: "Be the first to apologize". Well, you know what, Caribou? I don't want to. Nope - instead I'd prefer sitting here, jamming my keyboard keys into my laptop and reminding myself of all the ways I'm right in this "nothing fight" of ours. My pity party is entertaining me quite aptly this afternoon and I see no need to leave on such short notice.

Ok - you've got me thinking. Nice work.

When did I become so dramatic? And when did I decide that I wasn't going to be the laid-back, selfless, loving, always-uplifting, anything-goes wife I was sure I'd be so long ago? When did I stop being thankful for my husband's unconditional love? The man leads me into each room by placing his hand on the small of my back. He makes me coffee on Sunday mornings. He does the dishes. He calls me "Hotstuff" more often then he calls me by my own name. He tells me how proud he is of me, how smart I am. He studies with me for college exams. He loves my family. He always - always - kisses me goodnight. He vacuums. He champions me. When did this not suffice as "Cherishing me"? I said to him today, "I just don't feel like you adore me". Do you want to know what we've spent an entire afternoon being in a "funk" about? We went to a fast food place for lunch and he didn't ask me - he just went there and parked. I felt I should have been asked…that it would have been more respectful. What a preposterous thing to fight about. Sometimes, I feel like I am just looking for a reason to fight - I'm looking for something, anything, that gives me the right to be mad at him. What is this? It is embarrassing to write these things, because - even as I write - I can see how ridiculous they are.

I'm reminded of the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

The most entertaining part is "the strength to change the things I can" only applies to myself. I can't change my husband…nor should I. I can only change myself - my attitude, the way I respond to things, the way I react and whether I choose to respond the way I "feel" like responding or to respond in love. So, in all actuality, my Serenity Prayer goes something like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept that I cannot change my husband (nor do I need to);

Courage to change myself (and an understanding of how and when to do that);

And wisdom to know the difference.

The best part is, He will. I'm done with my tea latte, I'm typing a little softer and I've been given a bit of a wake up call (thanks to my coffee cup). I'm going to go home and kiss my husband now. What a gift he is - and what a wonderful God that he lets me vent and then reminds me of what's really going on here.

Proverbs 14:1 - The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Choosing the right window.

The kitchen was bustling - because it always is at my in-laws. Lots of food, lots of laughter and plenty of board games. As we all ponied up to the large dining room table for (yet another) game of Sequence I looked out the living room window across from me. What a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were fluttering around and the trees were just beginning to bud. Easter weekend is my favorite. The house was full of chatter and family. All I could think of at that moment was how blessed I am to have married into such a sweet family. Staring out the window as the cards were dealt, my thoughts were interrupted by - "Woah, look at those clouds!" My brother-in-law was staring out the kitchen window behind me, eyes wide. I turned around only to find heavy, dark rain clouds rolling in. I turned back around and stared out the living room window across from me. I was fascinated: there were no signs of a storm - just a beautiful Spring afternoon. Again, I turned around in my chair to look out the kitchen window behind me - dark, dreary and heavy. It was the same day, the same yard, the same weather at that very moment - just two different views.
We face this same scenario in life. We are constantly surrounded by beauty. New life, beautiful people, and joyful moments surround us at all times. In those very same moments frustration, weariness and sadness loom about. There is no way around it - our lives hold both extravagance and depravity. Our choice is this: which one will we look at? As children of God, there is always hope, we have constant access to joy, our source of love is ever present. So, there is always a window bursting with sunshine to peer out of. We also live in a world full of sin...of yuck. We can, by all means, spend our days focusing on this and drudging through it with each step... but there is no hope in this. Instead, we can choose to - knowing this is around us - see the beauty.... the life... and God's hand in it all. This isn't a cheap suggestion to only see the good, to ignore the bad or a suggestion that ignorance is bliss. It isn't. It is just ignorance. I am not here to suggest that we pretend that there aren't bad things happening around us but, rather, to focus on the fact that God is working in it all. Because we serve such an incredible Savior, we have hope in every situation. We have access to joy at all times - He is our joy. It is the knowledge that behind those heavy clouds, the sun still shines... it is still there. Such is the love of my Father and the hope I have in Him. No matter what is in front of me, He is still there.
I am choosing the better view.











Philippians 4:11-13
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

James 2:2-4
My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.

Christian.

Before I post my next entry, I want to talk about my most recent post (Christian?). I haven't popped on the site in a while and when I did this morning, I read through that post again. As I did, I noticed something: there's a hint of judgment present. This is never my desire - "Just lest not you be judged". I am no one to judge, it's not my place, my responsibility, my desire or even, ultimately, my ability.
What is humbling about that post is that, in my heart, I had no desire to place judgment and yet - months down the road - when I read it from the outside, I see the undertones. This brings to my attention the fact that I can be judgmental and possibly even hurtful without trying to be. It makes me realize how much I have to rely on Jesus to be like Jesus. Only He can point out to me those little hints and undertones of emotions I never intended to hold in the first place.

I really love the way Father God works... gently and lovingly changing my views... molding my thoughts... growing my understanding. I am seeing more clearly that these two groups I mentioned in my "Christian?" post are possibly just two parts of the body of Christ as opposed to two sides of the fence. Just as we are all called to "one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all" (Eph. 4:4-5) We are the body of Christ and we are called to be one body. So maybe these two "types" of Christians are really two parts of the body that God uses for different purposes within the body of Christ and to call others to Him.

I realize more and more every day that I know fewer and fewer of the answers. That just means there is so much more growing to do - which is exciting. I love God's gentle reminders to leave judgment and criticism at the door. I am to be clothed in Love because I, also, am covered by His love and saved only by His grace.

Thank you, Jesus.

"I want you to get out there and walk - better yet, run!- on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline - not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. You were all called to travel on the same road and in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and inwardly. You have one Master, on faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules over all, works through all, and is present in all. Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness. But that doesn't mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift."
Ephesians 4:2-7 (The Message//Remix)